What is wrong with the circus?  Let’s pretend for a minute that the animals in the circus are treated like royalty, just the way we treat our dogs and cats at home.  Where do the elephants and tigers in the circus come from?  Some are captured from their native countries, some are bred in captivity.  Do they choose to join the circus, like the clowns and the trapeze artists?  Of course not.  These are not domesticated animals like dogs and cats.  Living in cages and traveling on trains is not a good life for a wild animal.  Health problems are common, and access to appropriate veterinary care is sometimes difficult.

Did you know that in the wild, elephants walk up to 25 miles a day?  Elephants are very social animals and live in large herds where they can interact with other elephants all day every day.  Obviously a circus elephant cannot live that kind of life.

Now let’s forget our fantasy that the animals are treated like royalty.  Animal abuse is rampant in the circus industry.  Elephants and tigers are big and fierce, and can easily dominate a human being.  It doesn’t take too wild a stretch of the imagination to figure out that training these animals, who can kill their trainer at any moment, would involve subjecting the animals to fear and pain.  Sure, when you are at the circus it looks like the animals are given positive reinforcement treats and rewards, but what is really going on behind the scenes?

The animals are also chained.  At the Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee, a place for elephants rescued from circuses and zoos, an elephant named Billie arrived from a circus at age 53, with a chain on her ankle.  For 5 years she refused to let anyone remove that chain.  She walked around with it rattling, and it became known as her “bracelet”.  You can read her story and see the video here, the day she finally allowed the chain to be removed.

When my children were in elementary school, our synagogue planned a trip to the Ringling Brothers circus.  I don’t consider myself an animal activist, but I spoke to the religious school director who was planning the trip, to try to get her to cancel the trip.  In Judaism, there is a concept of “tikkun olam”, which means to save the world.  I tried to explain that the exploitation of animals for our entertainment in circuses was not saving the world, and that we, as Jews, should set an example.  She responded by telling me that “they don’t abuse animals in circuses anymore.”  Despite the evidence I gave her, she would not cancel the trip.

That is one of the reasons I am not Jewish anymore.

You can read a multitude of articles on the internet about what happens behind the scenes in circuses, and you can believe it or not.  To me, the bottom line is that animals should not be used for our entertainment.  Wild animals belong in the wild, not in a cage, or on a train, or in the Verizon Center, or in a zoo.  What gives us the right to take them away from their families and their homes and make them perform for us?  Our desire to own and control animals is one of the most shameful aspects of being a human.

Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by “laying on hands” and is based on the idea that an unseen “life force energy” flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one’s “life force energy” is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.

I can’t remember when I first heard about Reiki, but I finally decided to go check it out before my cancer surgery two years ago. I work near the Mindfulness Center in Bethesda, so I went on their website and read the description of the Reiki practitioner. While I was reading, something about her appealed to me, and when I went for my first appointment I knew right away that this would be great.

So let’s talk about energy. You know, e=mc2, right? (That actually has nothing to do with this, I just wanted to use my high school physics for something.) And if you think back to middle school science, you remember that energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can be converted from one thing to another, and you can squish it all into something to make a bomb, but basically it is just floating around out there. Reiki practitioners can capture this floating energy and get it into their clients.

Some people are better at sensing energy than others, and some people’s energy is easier to sense than others. I can sense energy in certain people, usually sensitive people, and I can pick up bad or good energy unfortunately. It makes me moody sometimes. Last week I met someone who gave off very strong energy, but it was like the wrong sides of two magnets – our energy was repelling each other’s. I just couldn’t figure out this guy, he was nice as could be, but I was getting negative energy. Sometimes I’ll meet someone and I can feel their positive energy right away. But I am not sure if these people actually have energy that is positive or negative, or if what I feel is a result of how their energy is combining with mine. Understand?

When I met my Reiki practitioner, I felt lots of positive energy. I had been seeing her once a month and after a few months ago I found that I was getting much more relaxed during our sessions than I was at first. I get into that state of mind that is not awake and not asleep, which is usually a very relaxing feeling, until I get the startle reflex that sometimes happens. Does that ever happen to you – right before you fall asleep, you might feel like you are falling perhaps, and you startle yourself awake? (There is a term for this phenomenon – hypnagogic myoclonic twitch or hypnic jerk for short.)

Reiki is definitely relaxing, and if the effects last it can reduce stress. If I went more often I would definitely have less stress in my life.

Some of the Reiki Healing Health Benefits:

• Creates deep relaxation and aids the body to release stress and tension
• It accelerates the body’s self-healing abilities
• Aids better sleep
• Reduces blood pressure
• Can help with acute injuries and chronic problems (asthma, eczema, headaches, etc.) and aides the breaking of addictions
• Helps relieve pain
• Removes energy blockages, adjusts the energy flow of the endocrine system bringing the body into balance and harmony
• Assists the body in cleaning itself from toxins
• Reduces some of the side effects of drugs and helps the body to recover from drug therapy after surgery and chemotherapy
• Supports the immune system
• Increases vitality and postpones the aging process
• Raises the vibrational frequency of the body
• Helps spiritual growth and emotional clearing

I can agree with all of those to some degree.  Stress and anxiety can raise one’s cortisol levels, which is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands (which are attached to the kidneys). A consistently high level of cortisol can result in illness, as well as prolonging recovery time from illness. I don’t think anyone would argue that we should do whatever we can to reduce our stress levels, however, on the other hand, our society and our culture value productivity to an extreme. Sitting around relaxing isn’t something that is encouraged. Why is there this stigma towards reducing our stress levels, even though we are always hearing from the media that we need to reduce our stress levels?

A Reiki healing session can induce an extremely comfortable state of being that can bring alteration in the client’s consciousness. If used with other natural therapies (meditation, crystals, aroma therapy, Bach Flower remedies, homeopathy, etc.) Reiki will reinforce their effect. It can be used also as complementary therapy, because Reiki is truly a complementary care. It complements and enhances the health care the patient receives in the hospital or from other health care providers.

So that is Reiki. You go into a private room, the lights are dimmed, relaxing music is playing, and you lay on a table. My Reiki practitioner usually does a little guided imagery at the beginning, but then we are silent. She will lay her hands on my head, shoulders, arms, legs, etc and hold them there for 3 – 5 minutes. Some Reiki practitioners hold their hands above the client’s body rather than directly on them. It is an interesting feeling, and mostly impossible to explain, but if you have ever felt energy going through you while you are in a very relaxed state, then you know how it feels. If you don’t know, then you should try a Reiki session and see what happens.

Jeff is 67 years old and runs a marathon with his wife each month.  I’ve spent time with Jeff twice, and each time I am so inspired and get that feeling that I want to run a marathon.  (Luckily that feeling passes after a day or two – because just because I CAN run a marathon doesn’t mean I WANT to run a marathon.)  Jeff was in town a few weeks ago and some runners from our group took a little run with him.

He is extremely knowledgeable, funny, and just a great guy.  He made the 1972 Olympic team, but in the 10K distance, not the marathon.  He set a record in the US 10 mile distance, and his fastest marathon was 2:16:35 (yeah, that is faster than my fastest half marathon.)  He is not running that fast these days, but it is quite an accomplishment to run 12 marathons a year.

Jeff trains beginning and advanced runners, and by adding walk breaks to their running, they are able to cut minutes off of their race times.  In some cases, lots of minutes.  Like, up to 30 minutes or more.

This is what Jeff says about walk breaks:

By using muscles in different ways from the beginning, your legs keep their bounce as they conserve resources. When a muscle group, such as your calf, is used continuously step by step, it fatigues relatively soon. The weak areas get overused and force you to slow down later or scream at you in pain afterward. By shifting back and forth between walking and running muscles, you distribute the workload among a variety of muscles, increasing your overall performance capacity. For veteran marathoners, this is often the difference between achieving a time goal or not.

Walk breaks will significantly speed up recovery because there is less damage to repair. The early walk breaks erase fatigue, and the later walk breaks will reduce or eliminate overuse muscle breakdown.

I became a convert 4 years ago when I ran two 10K’s in one month.  The first one I ran continuously, and the second I took walk breaks from the very beginning.  My time and pace for both races was the same, but my recovery from the continuous running race was painful.  After the run/walk race I was fine the next day.

Jeff’s tips to avoid injury are:

1. Run every other day
2. Start each run significantly slower than your regular training pace.
3. Don’t let faster, fitter running partners coax you into running beyond your speed limit or endurance level.
4. Add regular walk breaks to your long runs. Walk breaks reduce the intensity of runs and lessen muscle fatigue during a workout, which lowers your risk of injury.

Some elitist runners think that adding walk breaks to a run means you are not a “real” runner.  Well, I have to disagree.  To me, whatever works to get you to the finish line is ok, and anyway, who are these people to judge other runners?  At this year’s Cherry Blossom 10 Mile race my volunteer job was to pick up a couple of elite athletes at the airport, and they were two young guys from Boulder who turned out to be the first two Americans to finish the race.  I told them how long it takes me to finish a 10 mile race, and that I take walk breaks, and that probably makes me less of a runner.  Well, they practically snapped my head off at that comment, they said I was most certainly a runner, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes me to finish the race.  The real elite runners respect every runner, and feel that anyone out there running is a credit to the sport.

I’ve had people make comments behind my back at the beginning of a race, “Can you believe people are walking already?  How will they ever finish the race?”  I always have the last laugh, don’t I?  I will always be a fan of Jeff Galloway and his training program.  I have directed three programs so far this year, and the progress I see in our runners is amazing.  Some have never run before, some haven’t run in years, some were always getting injured.  But they reach the 5K, 10K and even marathon distances, happily and without injury, and I know that anyone can do it.

All it takes is canned coconut milk and semi sweet chocolate chips.

Put the coconut milk in the refrigerator overnight, then scoop out the thick part.  Add it to a pot with the chocolate chips and let the chips melt.  (I was a little impatient and didn’t let the chips totally melt, you should take your time and make sure they are all melted.)  Then put it in a bowl and let it sit in the refrigerator overnight.

Dump the frosting in the mixer and whip it up.

First I used the regular white mixing blade, then when it softened up a little I switched to the whisk.  It seemed a little thick, so I added a tiny bit of almond milk.  (OK, it’s not 2 Ingredient Frosting anymore.)

Then I needed something to put the frosting on, although I could just eat frosting, some people frown on that.  I happened to have a box of Trader Joe’s vanilla cake mix, which is really quick to make, and you can use egg replacement stuff if you don’t eat eggs.

And that is it.  Lots of chocolate frosting and a little cake.  Cake is just a base for frosting as far as I’m concerned.  Yum.  Go make this.

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One of the aftermaths of having cancer is needing to get scanned regularly to be sure there is no reoccurrence.

I go to the Johns Hopkins Hospital:

They have crazy colored windows in the hospital.

This is a separate part of the hospital, the Sidney Kimmel Cancer Center which is beautiful inside.  But I get a little freaked out every time I see the signs that say “Cancer Center” because I really don’t feel like I ever had cancer.

But how can you not like a place that is painted purple?

So light and airy, and there are even trees.  I have a card with a barcode on it, and I have to scan my card whenever I go to a new section of the center.  When I first get there I scan my card and it prints out my schedule:

First I get weighed, blood pressure, temperature and pulse.  Then a blood draw.  The lab people are so good at their jobs, all they do all day is draw blood so they gets lots of practice.  I can hardly feel it.  They are pretty friendly too, if I try to make conversation, although it is usually really early in the morning, and I don’t talk much in the morning.

Next stop is hydration.  I need two hours of saline fluid before my scans in order to help the contrast dye get through my kidneys more quickly.  The dye isn’t good for kidneys, so the quicker it can get through, and the more diluted it is, the better.  I get my iv here, and these people are really good at their jobs also.  For me the worst part of the process is the iv, but the nurses who do mine are experts at it.  I get a comfy chair that reclines, and a blanket.

Since it is only going to be in there for a few hours they do the iv in the bend of my arm, which is the easiest place to put an iv needle, but results in not being able to bend my arm the entire time it is in there.  I once made the mistake of having them do the iv in my right arm, which was a big mistake since I am right handed and therefore couldn’t write or do much of anything for the next few hours.

Also at this time I have to wait for the results of my lab tests, because if my kidney function tests aren’t within the normal range they won’t do the contrast at all, and a CT scan without contrast isn’t really worth much at all.  Luckily each time I have gone my kidney function tests were good.

This room I’m in is used for all kinds of iv stuff – people are getting chemo, platelets, and who knows what else.  I am lucky that all I need is saline.  I definitely get a new sense of perspective when I am in the cancer center and see the other patients.  Some of them are incredibly sick, I won’t even go into what I see in there.  There is no one dancing around singing “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger”.

A nice gentleman sometimes comes around with a platter of snacks and fruit and offers me some, but I am not allowed to eat before the CT scan.  I’m not sure if he is giving that stuff away, or if I would have to pay for it.  My nurse checks in with me and keeps me informed about what is happening.  One time it was really crowded there and there was no chair for me, so they stuck me out in the hall on a bench for a couple of hours with my iv pole.  That wasn’t a good day for me.  Luckily that only happened once.

While I am getting my saline, I watch stuff on my ipad, or read, or send emails.  The hospital has good wifi.

Then  it is off to get my CT scan.  They leave the iv port in my arm, wrapped up in tape, because I need it for the CT scan contrast.  In the waiting room a very friendly employee goes over paperwork with me.  She comes to my seat, I don’t even have to get up to go to the desk.  After the paperwork she asks me if I am comfortable and if she can get me anything.  I always tell her I am fine, and she says if I need anything at all to just ask.

For some reason I am always freezing cold at this point, and she will bring me a blanket.  There is a lot of waiting, things don’t seem to run on time here.

Then I go back to the radiology wing, and another person untapes the iv, and changes it to a different kind of iv, because the iv for the saline is different than the iv for the CT contrast.  Then I get two giant cups of water to drink.  I’m practically floating by now with all of the fluid in my body.

I get my scans, which hardly take any time at all, first without contrast, then with contrast, then the contrast iv comes out, they wait 5 minutes for the contrast to get to all of my parts and do another scan.  When they inject the contrast it burns a little, but the worst part is feeling like I’ve peed in my pants.  When they first told me this would happen I didn’t believe them, but it’s true, I guess it happens to everyone.  It just feels that way, I don’t actually pee in my pants.

So the iv is finally out, and I can eat.  By now I’ve been there for 4 or 5 hours and I am starving.  I bring my own food, because the little shop they have there has really bad choices of food.  I can sit in this lobby and eat.

Then I wait.  And wait.  And wait.  I have so much fluid in me and I need to go to the bathroom about every 10 minutes.  Eventually they call my name and I go into the doctor’s office.  I always see the doctor’s assistant, and sometimes I actually see the doctor himself.  He is a great oncologist who specializes in kidney cancer, and I am one of his most boring cases, luckily for me.  He is also a really good lucking guy, which makes the day better.  They tell me that my scans show no sign of cancer, and I am still NED – no evidence of disease.

When I leave I normally stop on the way home for lunch, because I am hungry and because I can’t make it all the way home without stopping to use a restroom.  It takes a while for all of the fluid to get out of me.  The last time I went I checked out a vegan restaurant in Baltimore that I had never been to.

This whole process from beginning to end takes about 8 hours, including travel time and lunch.

So it really isn’t that bad, I just hate doing it, and I am not worried about the cancer coming back, so sometimes I think I just don’t need to go anymore.  But I know that is medically unsound, and I really need to just to do it.  Maybe I’ll call today for an appointment.

2. I’ll never know everything.

3. Everything I know is enough to know.

4. If I need to know something, chances are someone else knows.

5. Connecting with another human being is the most important thing in the whole universe.

6. Speaking of the universe, I’m still pissed that Pluto isn’t a planet anymore.

7. Not taking shit from people will take me far.

8. Being friendly and kind will take me farther.

9. Life can be challenging sometimes.

10. Sometimes I am stronger than I think I am.

11. Sometimes I am not.

12. It is better to collect friends than to collect belongings.

13. Friends like it when they feel needed, so make them feel needed.

14. Don’t take advantage of friends.

15. Support is sometimes found in the most unusual and unexpected places.

16. Emptying the dishwasher will never be fun.

17. Raising children is the most gratifying experience ever.

18. Giving birth to them – not so much.

19. People die. But they stay in my heart forever.

20. It’s never too late to do anything.

21. Living a life means having regrets, I don’t believe anyone who says they have no regrets.

22. I’ll never understand the phrase “Having my cake and eating it too.”

23. A baby’s laugh is the best sound ever.

24. Notice the little moments of joy whenever possible.

25. Don’t eat too much.

26. I need to be alone, but not too much.

27. The monsters in the dark aren’t under the bed, they are in my head.

28. It’s ok to be sensitive, and it’s ok to ignore the people who say I’m too sensitive.

29. It is important to really look at stuff.

30. It is important to overlook stuff too.

31. Burned up hot dogs can be really funny.

32. Sometimes good people do bad things.

33. It’s ok to spend a whole day doing nothing.

34. Flying in an airplane won’t kill me.

35. I’ve never died of a broken heart.

36. Don’t touch the stove burner to see if it is hot.

37. I’ll never find what I am looking for, because I’ll never know exactly what it is.

38. Or because I already have it.

39. Black isn’t always slimming.

40. Laughter may not be the best medicine, but it is pretty darn good medicine.

41. Being a kid can be very hard.

42. When there is a dog around, things aren’t so bad.

43. Never take a hot shower for granted.

44. Cancer is scary, but not necessarily a death sentence.

45. A beach is the most relaxing place on earth.

46. I’ll never know why Ginger brought so many clothes on a three hour tour.

47. What I think is really important, is probably not.

48. Trust my instincts always, even though they are sometimes wrong.

49. It is better to listen than to talk.

50. It is easier to think when I go outside.

51. Sometimes it is impossible to know the truth.

52. Sometimes it is better not to know the truth.

53. The more love I give, the more I get.

But for me, the lure of Facebook became an obsession. There are some things I love about Facebook – connecting with old high school and college friends and sorority sisters, keeping up with family scattered all over the world, being able to communicate silently with friends in places where phone calls could be distracting. When I have insomnia at 4:30am I can go onto Facebook and find a friend to chat with.

However, Facebook started to take over my life. I have Facebook apps on my phone and ipad, and the webpage is always open on all of my computers. I get notifications whenever anyone comments or likes my status, or comments on a comment that I have made on someone else’s status. During the day I find myself doing fairly mundane things and saying to myself, “I need to post this on Facebook”. I take photos with my phone and upload them to Facebook. I check to see who is available to chat. I use Facebook as a method of procrastination when I am supposed to be doing something important. When I update my status or post a link or photo, I check to see if anyone has liked it, or commented on it.

I ultimately realized that Facebook was not good for me. It was causing my life to be off balance. I was Facebook chatting with people in my life that I could be talking to on the phone or in person. Facebook chatting is kind of a cheat way to have a conversation; I could think about my replies, edit, reword, delete and retype, until I felt what I was saying had enough meaning. There was no spontaneity as there is in face to face or even phone conversation. And everything I said on Facebook was there forever. There are no take backs.

So I declared a Facebook moratorium for 48 hours. I needed a Facebook detox. I wanted to talk to people using real verbal communication, or at least email. I needed more time to do important things, like read or write or exercise. It was a bit painful, but I knew that meant I really need the break.

At the end of the 48 hours I logged on and checked to see what I had missed.  I didn’t miss much actually, and was able to pick up right where I left off.  But I realized that I don’t need Facebook in my life so much, and it is healthy for me to step away from it. It has its place, but it should be a small part of my life.

A couple of years ago I worked on the county crisis and suicide hotline.  My life personally has also been deeply affected by suicide on more than one occasion.  Ask anyone and they will tell you that they know someone who has committed suicide, or they know of someone who was affected by someone else’s suicide.  Major Depressive Disorder is the leading cause of disability in the U.S. for people ages 15-44.  Want to see an interesting statistic?  The highest suicide rates in the U.S. are found in white men over age 85.

In order to work on the crisis hotline I went through a series of interviews and then 40 hours of training.  I worked one 4 hour shift per week.  90% of the calls were on the crisis hotline, I didn’t get too many on the suicide line.  When a person calls the national suicide hotline phone number (1-800-273 TALK or 1-800-273-8255) they are routed to the closest crisis hotline.

I have heard people say that they were not treated well when they called a crisis hotline, but I think that the people I worked with were extremely compassionate and caring.  A crisis hotline isn’t quite like you think it is.  We had the same people calling all the time, sometimes daily.  On our hotline we only allowed one call per day with a maximum time of 20 minutes for repeat callers.  Someone calling in a true crisis didn’t have a time limit.

Many of these people spent their entire day calling hotlines in the area.  Some of the other hotlines around here didn’t have time limits like we did.  I got to know our regular callers well during the time I worked on the hotline.  I also took calls from people in true crisis.  There was a teenager who had just come out to his parents and peers; his father wasn’t speaking to him and he was being bullied at school.  Another young man was going to college in DC when he had a severe mental break, and his parents flew out here from California.  They called us for help.  The kids and the elderly were the hardest for me; they affected me the most.

I remember one of my calls from my last day on the hotline.  This call was from a regular, Al. Al was angry, he was always angry. He would call screaming and cursing about whatever thing had set him off that day. The things he got angry about were frustrating, but not life altering episodes. But he also had such a human side to him, I really did enjoy talking to him, even though I had only spoken with him a few times over the year.

I let him rant and rave. He would go on and on, then he would apologize. I told him that there was no need to apologize, that is what I am there for. If that is what he needed, then I would sit and listen to him scream and curse. He told me that other hotline volunteers didn’t feel that way, and asked him to stop screaming and cursing. I told him that I wasn’t like the other volunteers. That as long as he was not yelling and cursing at me it was fine. I would just listen. I validated his feelings along the way, telling him that what happened was indeed frustrating, and the fact that he couldn’t do anything about it was even more frustrating. I did not tell him what to do, or offer suggestions as to how to fix the situation.

By the end of the call he was calm and he decided he would go to the outing he had planned that night, despite having decided not to go earlier.

When I left the office at the end of each shift, I knew I felt good about my calls, but I wasn’t really sure how I actually helped these people. I felt that all I did was sit there and listen to them. It’s somewhat difficult not being in the room with the person, I couldn’t read their body language, or notice the unspoken words. It’s harder to read between the lines. And yet, the anonymity and space between us also made things easier. Callers feel less vulnerable when they were not in the same room with us.

If you know anyone who you suspect is suffering from depression, don’t think you will cause them to commit suicide if you bring up the subject.  It is important to ask them if they are feeling like they will hurt themself, or if they have a plan or the means to kill themself.  Call a hotline if you are worried about yourself or a friend or family member, they will help you to make the right choices.

As you can see from this picture, there is a lot of water around St. Michael’s.  It is on the Chesapeake Bay.  Did we see any water during the race?  No.  Not a drop.

I went to St. Michael’s on Friday with my friend Kathryn, and we went to packet pick up, then walked around the little town.  We had dinner at a restaurant on the water, so I can at least say that I saw water this weekend.

The town is touristy, but beautiful.  Lots of old homes and churches, and cute bed and breakfasts.  The next time I go I’d like to spend more time by the water and less time in the town.

After dinner we went to bed.  I think it was about 8:00pm, seriously.  For some reason we each had an outrageous number of bags – regular clothes, running clothes, and food, plus other various items.  Of course, I always have to bring lots of food wherever I go.  This is five of my bags – I had a couple more in the car.

Between us, we brought 9 bananas.  Kathryn likes hers green.

Race day was cool, humid, cloudy and breezy, which was perfect, except for the humid part.  This race was totally flat – I think the advertised elevation was 10 feet.  We wandered around and used the porta-potties.

When the race began, we ran down the main street, then through a golf course community.  That is where the interesting part ended.  Unfortunately that was at mile 4.5.  The rest of the race was along the highway, 3 miles in one direction, then back 3 miles in the other.  6 miles of narrow shoulder on the highway.  The rest was through a neighborhood and then on a little trail to the finish line.

There was another problem.  At the second water stop, there were no cups.  We were offered the jugs of water to drink from.  That didn’t give me a good feeling.  Unfortunately at about half of the water stops there were no cups, but luckily Kathryn had an empty water bottle on her fuel belt that I could drink from with the water at the water stops. 

Other than that, everything seemed to go fine, just massive quantities of boredom.  Around mile 8 I had to start singing songs in my head.  For some reason the first song I thought of was “America The Beautiful”, you know that “amber waves of grain” song.  Then I switched to “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and the ABC song, which are actually the same song with different lyrics.

My worst problem was my foot.  I have a ganglion cyst on the side of my foot, and it has never bothered me when I ran before, but I think I tied my shoes too tight, so there was pressure on it.  And rather than stop to loosen my shoe, I thought I’d just run through it.  Not smart.  It started hurting at mile 6.  Around mile 9 I stopped to loosen the laces, but it was too late.  You know how when you have a pain somewhere, and it feels like that is the only place on your body that exists?  That was me…a pain in my foot.  My entire being was a pain in my foot, which then started going into my ankle and shortly thereafter overtook my entire body.

Oh wait, there was another problem.  Kathryn had told me that she had been running her half marathons at about a 13 minute pace.  This would have been perfect for me, since lately I have sucked at running, and I haven’t been eating right, and I am totally out of shape.  I told Kathryn that I was just going to go at her pace, and she set the pace.  Well, we did mile one in 11:27.  This continued to mile 5 which we did in 11:22.  We did slow down a little after that, but by then my foot was hurting, so I told her to just go ahead.  I just kept getting slower and slower, and I had to basically walk the last mile.  Except, of course, when I saw the photographers, and then I ran and smiled.  Gotta look good in the pictures.

As soon as I crossed the finish line I went immediately to the medical tent, took off my shoe and got a bag of ice from the EMT.

According to my best friend, Wikipedia, a ganglion cyst is a little benign tumor, like a knot, under the skin.  Mine is small, about the size of a pea.  I don’t know how something so innocuous could be so painful.  In the old days the way to get rid of these things was to smack them with a bible.  I might try that, but first I have to find a bible.  I wonder if the Veganomicon cookbook would work, that is the biggest book I have.  Unfortunately I wouldn’t have a good angle to smack it myself, I would have to get someone else to do it.  Not sure if anyone would volunteer for that.

Apparently a needle can be stuck in there to drain it, if the bible doesn’t work.  That sounds more medically sound I think.

After the race we showered at the high school, and went for lunch.  Checking my happy cow app, I found one place in town that had a vegan option – Ava’s Pizza.  What the vegan option was is a pizza with vegetables and no cheese.  Which is fine, but really, any pizza place can say that on their menu, right?  Actually the pizza turned out to be delicious.

And the day called for chilled white wine, which I never drink.  Not that I don’t drink wine, I just don’t drink white wine.

It had started to rain, but we walked around the town a little, and bought chocolate, and then came home.

It was a nice place to visit, not a great run, a race I’m glad I did, but won’t do again.  I did get a really nice medal though!

A lot has been going on in my life, including moving, which involves packing up 3000 square feet of living space.  I’ve had a bit of stress over that and other things, which is affecting my running, as in I skip runs, shorten runs, don’t feel well enough to run, etc.

I normally gain a couple of pounds towards the end of a training cycle, but in the last few weeks I’ve lost 5 pounds.  I have no appetite and don’t know what to eat, plus with moving, my stuff is packed and it is hard to cook my own food.  Then I get lightheaded and tired when I run.

I have a lot on my plate and it cuts into my running time.  I’m having a lot of trouble sleeping and am frequently up for hours in the middle of the night.

I did do 10 miles on Saturday and 8 the Saturday before, and my plan is to run this race a lot slower than I normally would.  I am going with a friend and we plan to run the race together, something I have not done before, so she will keep me on pace.

At least the race is flat – the advertised elevation is 10 feet.  I think I can handle that.  I know I can do the race, probably just not well.

Has anyone been totally unprepared for a race, physically, emotionally and mentally?