Posts tagged family

Yesterday

Jul16
2012 7 Comments

Written by Linda

It was a Beatles song. Something about all my troubles being so far away. Since I was an odd, awkward kid I had some troubles, they weren’t really very far away unfortunately. But I decided to revisit my old town this weekend.

First stop – the beach. It was cloudy, but the beach was crowded. Yes, you have to pay money to get onto the beach in New Jersey.

There was a burrito place on the beach. And they had blueberry lemonade – I had to get one of those.

Next I drove to Matawan, where I grew up. I passed some landmarks like the Garden State Arts Center, now named after a bank. Sigh.

When you are in Central Jersey all you can do is go north or south.

I shopped at Monmouth Mall when I was in high school.

Here is the house that I grew up in. The man who bought it from my parents in 1984 was outside when I pulled up and I told him that it used to be my house. He gave me a tour inside and out, and it was kind of a strange feeling – seeing my room and my backyard and my garage. The mailbox and the light post out front are still the same. So are the house numbers. We moved there in 1963! He told me that he raised 3 children in this house. It must be a wonderful house to have been a home to two complete families in 49 years.

This is what it looked like in 1984 when my parents sold it.

This used to be my room, I’ll have to find an old picture of it to post. I didn’t have all of those dolls. And when I lived in it, it was purple and chartreuse.

I saw my elementary school, middle school and high school. They all have fancy signs now. And the high school has a beautiful stadium and concession stand. When I was in high school we sold hot dogs from a little shack. The stadium didn’t have lights so we had to play all of our games in the daytime.

Yes, high school now seems to be sponsored by restaurants, banks and grocery stores.

And some of my favorite places are still there – the bowling alley and the bagel shop.

Next I went to visit my father’s grave, I hadn’t been to see him since he died 14 years ago. I had a little trouble finding him. It was nice to see that his gravesite is well maintained, and I stayed for a while. The sun came out. I’ve been thinking about dad lately, maybe because June would have been his birthday, his anniversary, and father’s day.

It says “A sweet and gentle man who will always be remembered.” We used to say that my father was “a likeable guy”. We said it a lot and he loved that. We joked that we would put it on his headstone when he died, but we didn’t. We should have though.

Am I the only person who likes cemeteries? I like to wander around and see who is there and imagine what their lives might have been like. And I get sad when I see the graves of babies or young people. And impressed when I see the graves of people born in the 1800’s. And kind of creeped out when I see graves with people’s faces etched on them.

And there are double headstones for a husband and wife, but sometimes the husband side or the wife side is blank because they haven’t died yet. That’s a little icky too.

I went out to dinner at a restaurant called Yesterdays. How appropriate. There’s nothing like New Jersey. Where else can you hear the phrase “Youse guys”? Well, maybe Philly. I sat in the bar section and was forced to watch a Mets game. I was never a Mets fan, always the Yankees in my house.

This must be named after a person called Yesterday. Otherwise, why the apostrophe?

The next morning I ran on a trail that I found, it is one of those trails built along an old railroad track, the Henry Hudson trail. A really nice place to run, paved and mostly shady, with other runners, walkers, bikers and dogs.

more bicyclists on the Henry Hudson Trail

I went to a wedding shower on Sunday, and frankly, there was not much for me to eat. Even the salad had cheese in it, but I was able to get one made specially for me with no cheese. Other than that I had half a bagel and some potatoes. There was a beautiful cake and cupcakes, but alas not vegan. I checked out happycow.net and saw that a Whole Foods was just 5 miles away, so after the shower I made a stop there for some real food. Pasta salad, tofu with a coconut sauce, and vegan cupcakes! I didn’t eat all four of them, really.

You definitely can’t go home again, but you can certainly visit.

Posted in Fun - Tagged beach, travel

Vegan Ramblings

May30
2012 8 Comments

Written by Linda

So being a vegan is “weird”. It is, I know it is, and that’s fine with me. I’ve never really been normal, although I do try. Let’s face it, anything outside of the norm is weird, and although there is a very broad spectrum of eating habits, veganism is close to the end of the bell curve (not as close to the end as breatharianism!) I really admire people who have been vegan since the 70s or 80s, it wasn’t easy to be vegan then because of the lack of readily available items like almond milk, and to the lack of resources that we can now get on the internet. I tried a vegan diet about 10 years ago, but gave it up. I thought it was too hard, especially when I was eating out.

Eating out has become easier, but even in a major metropolitan area like Washington DC, it is not all smooth sailing. There are a few totally vegan restaurants, maybe 5 that I know of, and there are a bunch that actually know what a vegan is and can accomodate a diner who doesn’t eat animal products. But they seem to sneak animal products in the strangest of places, for example, I went to Cava today for lunch, and their regular pita is vegan, however their mini pitas are not. Huh? Sometimes veggie burgers have egg whites, and pizza crust has parmesan cheese. You just never really know what is in there.

Which brings us to – how many questions do you ask? I suppose I could ask about every single item, but frankly I don’t. When I go to Elevation Burger to get a vegan burger, I don’t ask if the bun is vegan. It is difficult to find vegan hamburger buns, so chances are it is not vegan, but I don’t ask. If I knew for sure that it wasn’t vegan, I wouldn’t eat it, but if I don’t know, well, then it’s possible that it is vegan. I know that is not a good way of looking at things at all, that I am in denial just like every meat eater is in denial about the fact that the steak on their plate actually came from a real cow.

Which brings us to – I wish there was a name for a person who eats a plant based diet but isn’t a vegan. Veganism is so much more than a diet, it is a lifestyle, a culture. I switched to a plant based diet for health reasons, and I did not throw away silk blouses, or my leather couches. I would not buy leather couches again, but I do eat things with honey and wear makeup with carmine, and eat sugar that has probably been decolorized with bone char. I am opposed to any kind of animal abuse, particularly factory farming and animal testing. There really isn’t a name for what I am, so I say I eat a plant based diet, or I call myself a vegan which is easier.

As I have mentioned before, I switched to a plant based diet right after I was diagnosed with cancer. If I had changed my diet without the diagnosis, just out of the blue, I would have gotten some not so great feedback. But given the illness, people are more lenient. I do sometimes get asked, “Are you still doing that vegan thing?” My friends are the most supportive people in the world, whenever we go out to eat they make sure there is something on the menu that I can eat. There are very few places where I can find nothing, and even if I end up eating french fries and iceburg lettuce, it’s ok, because I’m out with friends and that is the fun part. Last week three friends took me out to lunch for my birthday and I picked the restaurant, which was Thai. I thought it was very generous of them to agree to Thai, not knowing if they really like Thai although they said they did, but they went above and beyond. They all ordered vegan items so that we could share. I asked them, “What are you doing?” and they said they like eggplant, and tofu, and vegetables. Seriously? So we shared and it was amazing.

It’s difficult going over to someone’s house for a dinner party, or other type of gathering. It’s not polite for me to say, “Is there anything there I can eat?” so I always ask if there is something I can bring, hoping they will say yes. I want to bring food, first because then I know there will be something for me to eat, and second, I want to share vegan food with other people so they can see that vegan food is good, and varied, and easy to make at home. The majority of hosts and hostesses are concerned about my dietary restrictions, some not at all. I like the people that are somewhere in the middle, because if they are too concerned I feel guilty; I don’t like to show up and have them say, in front of 50 people, “Linda, you can eat this, and this and this.” I know they are trying to be helpful, but still. Then there are the people who aren’t concerned at all as to whether there will be something for me, and yes, that kind of stings a little. I don’t expect them to do so much, but maybe a green salad might be nice? So that is why I like the middle of the road hosts, who might make me a little something that everyone else would enjoy too (ie; salad or rice) but also think it is ok for me to bring a dish or two.

I love going out with my vegan friends. I didn’t know anyone who was vegan until a few months ago when I joined a couple of meetup groups. Now I can say I have a group of vegan friends. And not only do we share the same dietary lifestyle, we also share other common interests. I’m not sure if this is true of all vegans as a whole, but the ones in my circle of friends seem to be liberal, atheist, pacifist, feminist, environmentalist, pro-choice, pro gay marriage and really smart. (Smarter than me, I don’t know what I am doing there!) But maybe if you are one of those things, you are all of them. I guess no one is a pro-life feminist.

Going out with vegan friends is easy. We go to vegan restaurants, or restaurants that we know cater to vegans. We can order whatever we want and we don’t seem weird. Actually none of these people are weird, not to me anyway. They are just regular people, either concerned about their health and living a long life, or compassionate about life on earth. Otherwise, regular. We are regular to each other, perhaps weird to the rest of the world. One day weird will be the new normal.